I WANT A BABY!:)

I was browsing through friends' profiles and I chanced upon a friend whose primary photo is that of a newborn baby. Such bundle of joy is soooo cute even with her eyes still closed. She seems so delicate to touch and as if she is mine, I could actually imagine carrying her carefully and holding her lovingly and never parting with her til my last breath...

ok so that's a bit of exagerrated drama. haha.

But then, that's it, I've said the words..."as if she is mine"...I am reading between my own lines, and if you still don't get it, let me put it bluntly. I am actually exuding envy here because I want to have a baby too , as in right now, but I am reduced to mere imagination that I already have one.

Well, I am not yet really married (so much for the fake friendster status), that's the ultimate reason why I can't have a baby right now. Of course, I wouldn't want to have a baby before marriage, that would be against my principle. Besides, financially, I don't think I am 100% percent capable of supporting one.

But still, my longing to have a baby becomes more intense as time passes by. Oh how I wish to have a daughter/son whom I will care for and love unconditionally. I will watch her/him grow, I will provide for her/his needs, I will correct her/his mistakes and ensure that she/he grows up to be a God-fearing citizen of this nation. I will be the best mom she/he could ever have...

Oh well, at the moment, I guess I have to content myself with envisioning...and I just have to put up with this feeling of envy because other women have babies and I do not. As for me, soon...soon...a baby will be a reality...but when exactly?! I don't know and I need to stop myself from pondering on it too much or else I might lose my mind...

But I want a baby...I want a baby...ohm..ohm...ohm...